Depression, Anger, and No Tears
by TheGreenElephant911
Summary: A story where Jasper is killed by the Volturi and Alice has to go home without him; How will she react? Now a one-shot, Rewritten


AN ~ So, this is my rewritten version. The original was going to be a multiple chapter fic, but I decided after a long Hiatus, that it wasn't going to ever come back to me. I had written myself into a dead end. So instead, I rewrote this fic, not to make up for it, but to make myself feel better about it. The original just didn't cut it for me anymore. I hope you enjoy the new version. If you ever read the original, I hope you enjoy this one much better. Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. At all.

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I ran what seemed like forever through the ancient city. I was breathing fast and my heart seemed like it was going to just start beating again. Sadly, the city was big and tonight I could not run properly. I was in Volterra running towards the entrance to the Volturi's lair. I found the open hole in the middle of the street I was in three years ago when I came here with Bella and Edward. I quickly ran down the tunnels and halls and even past Gianna's old desk, who was replaced with a younger woman after Gianna was killed for being with them for too long.

The woman of course saw me but I barely paid any attention to her, my mind focused and determined. I ran as fast as I could down the hall with human speed. The Volturi had drugged Jasper and I so that we… well, I do not quite know the effects of the drug, only that right now it made me humanly _slow._ I still do not know how they poisoned us or how it's even _possible._ They must be gaining new technology or new vampires with better gifts.

Jasper had "gone too far" as they said when he had threatened one of the guards of the Volturi. None of them could get into our thoughts, not even Rosalie's (who was so easy to read just by the face even), because Bella had cast her shield over us. Some covens dared to fight against us for the land and humans but we fought with the werewolves and won, as always. They blamed Jasper and I that they didn't get what they wanted three years ago; the gifted portion of our family and Renesmee.

I finally got to their execution room and opened the door, throwing it off its hinges. There was Jasper, being circled by some of the guards and the three Volturi brothers watching. Jasper was too tired to fight them because of that damn drug. He had no chance and it was an unfair fight.

"Ah, Alice, you are just here in time to see your beloved Jasper die," Aro said merrily yet sharply cruel.

"No, he is not going to die," I told him as calmly as I could. I quickly cast a glance at Jasper as guards came up behind me. I didn't acknowledge them. My eyes were focused on Jasper, trying to formulate a plan to get him out of here.

"Oh, yes he is, Alice, he is. And there's nothing you can do to stop it," Aro said and he lifted up his hand. The three vampires around Jasper closed in on him, trying to pull him apart in three directions. That was their plan at least. I launched myself at them, stopping them before they could touch him. I flung the first vampire away, ripping off his head along the way, and tried to attack the second but he moved faster than me right now. Although my gift told me what his attacks would be, I was still too slow.

"Alice, get out of here, now. Just leave me," Jasper rasped out. He was trying to defend himself against the third also using the knowledge and experience he had of fighting, but his actions were too slow as well.

"NO!" I shrieked at him. It was then that the third one finally overpowered him, ripping him to shreds right before my very eyes. I tried to leap in to stop the third vampire from defeating him but my own opponent held me back. I struggled all I could, screaming and yelling for Jasper in anger, frustration, and down right horror.

My eyes met with Jasper's for the last time and a sob broke out from me as he mouthed 'I love you' and a lighted match was thrown his way, him instantly going up in flames. I fought more fiercely at that moment but I could not get out of my opponents hold. When finally my husband was no more, I stopped struggling, speechlessly staring at his ashes.

"He's dead, Alice. Like I said, he was going to die," Aro said smirking. The three brothers had just sat there, watching the fight like it was some sort of Roman coliseum. I looked at him with terror and absolute outrage.

"Finish her," Aro all but sneered. It was then, at that blasted second that I felt a surge of strength come upon me. I broke free of my opponent's arms and slid to the ground by Jasper's ashes on my knees, desperately picking up his ashes. Crazy, I know, but I had to get them. The guards were surrounding me, closing in on me just as they did on my Jasper. With my returned vampire strength, I flipped over them, my visions helping me avoid all of their attacks as I sped out of there. I suddenly ran out of the room, faster than before. I traveled through and out of the tunnels, avoiding anyone in my path. As I ran, I could sense them behind me. I picked up speed and ran through the streets, my hands still cupping my husband's ashes. I quickly got a vision telling me that there was an air plane taking off in one minute.

I picked up speed even more and raced to the airport. The plane was about to leave when I raced into it without anyone noticing and sitting in a seat in the back. Then the plane took off. There was no way they could catch me on the plane without causing a scene. During the flight, I somehow got Jasper's ashes into a container. It was then that I relived the events that had just happened hours ago, replaying them constantly in my mind, especially the death of my Jasper.

I came home to Carlisle's house with a broken heart. Normally, I would smile when seeing it thinking the words "home" and "comfort", but it didn't apply this time. A pain was in my chest when I went through the door. I wish I could cry; if I could, displaying my emotions would be easier. But I can't, so instead all I could express was the most anguish and broken expression I could muster up. My eyes glanced over the room, mesmerizing everyone's faces: Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Edward, Renesmee, Rosalie, and Emmett. Someone was missing though…

'_Oh yeah, Jasper,' I said in my head._ Edward looked at me with as much grief as he could bear. Everyone was dead quiet. Of course they knew what happened.

"Alice, honey-," Esme started. I cut her off.

"Don't," I choked at her. I looked at everyone calmly. On my way up the stairs I picked up a glass flower vase. Everyone watched me as I mechanically threw the flowers and water out onto the floor and kept walking up the stairs with the glass vase in my hand. No one objected to it and if they did, at this point I could not care less.

When I entered our room – I refused to call it my room now – I immediately transferred his ashes carefully into the now dried out glass vase and found something to use as its lid. I shoved off whatever was on the bedside table before, not caring if anything broke, and carefully placed his flower vase urn on the bedside table.

I stumbled over to our closet and stared inside. There were Jasper's clothes and my clothes, separated. I found my pajamas, but I didn't feel like wearing them. Instead, I found one of Jasper's button-up striped shirts that he liked to wear on Sundays and put that on. I wiggled out of my pants and just stumbled into the bed and turned the light off. From there I hugged his pillow tightly and sobbed with no damn tears running down my cheek.

This was the time I also wished I could go to sleep. To be able to forget reality and escape into my dreams where my Jazz was not dead but existing like he always had, never leaving my side and kissing me like there was no one else but me. But no, that was taken away from me too. Damn vampire side-effects.

Since I couldn't sleep, I just stayed in bed, thinking only of him. I stayed there for what felt like eternity, letting the days pass by and wanting to rot like the corpse I was.

Almost everyone tried to get me up and happy and active but it didn't work. Even little Renesmee tried. But I just wouldn't budge.

Then one day, I just suddenly got out from bed, put on some clothes – his clothes – and just went outside, into the forest, not caring about anything. I had dug into the back of our closet and had found his old coat that he used to wear before we came to Carlisle. It was fashioned for the Confederate military and it smelled exactly like him. I shrugged it on, letting it wrap around me as I trudged through the cold forest.

Once out there, I breathed in a huge breath of air. The forest smelled wonderful. On instinct I started running. I ran my fastest and suddenly reached Canada. Big surprise there. I kept running into Canada, passing trees, lakes, rivers, even a few houses. I don't know what came over me.

But I stopped and realized; I didn't want to go to Canada. I didn't want to just be surrounded by trees. I didn't want to just run. I wanted a _challenge_. To go too far, to break the rules, to have some fun. Ah, **fun**, the word I had not embraced in weeks. I smiled to myself thinking of what I was going to do.

All the sudden, my mind didn't care about morals, or consequences, or rules, or _treaties_. I smiled to myself, again.

I turned around and headed back to Forks, Washington. Or should I say La Push?

I zoomed through the forest, almost faster than light. When I got to the La Push forest boundary line, I past right by it. I went right into the La Push forest, smiling like a lunatic. Right when I past the line, I smelled the shape-shifters around me. Four to be exact.

I smiled wider and kept running. One of them caught up to me. He smelled a bit different than the rest; then I noticed why. Not a man, but a woman. It was Leah. And boy, was she quick.

An idea popped into my rapid mind and I pushed forward, testing her speed. Find a tall tree, I stopped right behind it.

Leah halted right in front of me and so did the other shape-shifters. I noticed one was Sam and the other two were Seth and Jacob. Leah was leaning over me, looking me straight into my eyes, growling harshly. I smirked at her insanely.

In her eyes I could see my reflection, and I looked pretty scary. My hair was messed up, my clothes were oddly matched up, and I had a crazy look on; a face that made me look like I just came out of a mental institution.

I laughed at this. Then, I could see that Leah was about to jump at me, snapping, when right before she actually did it I quickly climbed the tree. I heard her nose bump the tree and I snickered as I climbed and sat on a high enough branch, my legs dangling off the edge.

I noticed Jacob was gone but then I saw him walking towards the tree, dressed only surfing shorts, in human form.

"Alice, what are you doing?" Jacob asked. Jacob had become nicer to the Cullen coven ever since Renesmee came into everyone's life. It kind of freaked me out. He was like an insanely-in-love guy who was playful all the time. He was more laid back and… strange. It made me want to rip him to shreds.

"What? Alice can't have a little fun? Alice can't have a challenge or some action in her life?" I asked using third-person. It frightened me a bit but I ignored it, pushing that thought to the back of my mind.

Leah was growling and trying her best to climb the tree when Jacob told her to stop.

"No, let her, Jacob. Let's see how far up Leah can climb and catch the big, bad parasite?" I taunted, my mouth spread in a Cheshire grin. I felt excited at the thought of it.

"Alice, what's happened to you?" I heard a voice say. It was Seth. He was in human form now, looking all sad and sorrowful. It broke my heart to see his face like that for he was the closest and most comfortable shape-shifter to us. He was probably the purest being I'd every encountered. But I forgot about my sensitive heart and was now thinking about my angry heart.

"What's happened to me? What's happened to me?" I screeched at him. He grimaced at my yelling. "The Volturi is what's happened to me! Being a leech and a vampire is what's happened to me!" I blame vampirism for this.

"Oh, and let's not forget your _perfect_ little Renesmee! She's one of the reasons I'm here!" I screamed at Jacob. "She's one of the reasons why _my Jasper is dead_!" I jumped out of the tree and ran towards Jacob. I was about to attack him when two pairs of strong hands held me back. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward and Emmett holding me back. I tried shaking them off but they wouldn't budge. Not thinking, I still tried to lunge at Jacob but was still jerked back. Normally my visions would help me maneuver out of others' reach but my mind was too overcome with grief to focus or even notice my visions.

I then turned on them, my own brothers. I was seeing red and I couldn't stop it. I needed to get it all out.

I finally got out of their grips and turned around towards them angrily growling. Everyone was there; all except Rosalie and Renesmee. Emotions filled me up.

"No, it's mostly _your fault_," I snarled, point a finger at my family cruelly. "You didn't come and help save him; instead, you stayed here hoping me and Jasper would come out alive!" I launched myself at Edward; he was the one who should have known this whole time what was going on. He read my thoughts like always. _He should have come and helped._

I started hitting and scratching him, screaming at him. "You don't understand, Alice. I couldn't come," Edward said. This stopped me cold. I froze. He slid himself out from under me.

"You… couldn't… _come?"_ I asked in a whisper. Then I got irritated.

"You liar!" I screamed at him. Then something attacked _me_. Or more like jumped onto me. It was a big black wolf who was the size of a giant boulder. It was the Alpha, Sam. He held me down in his wolf form growling softly.

He stared down at me with fierce and determined eyes. I looked up at him with hurt, fuming, and depressed eyes.

Edward got off of the ground and walked toward me with Carlisle at his side.

"Alice, you need to calm down. You really don't understand. We couldn't come because the Volturi stopped us too, just like they stopped you," Carlisle said.

"Yet I still ran! Even when I was drugged I ran! You didn't!" I shrieked. I couldn't take it anymore though. It was emotionally taxing on me and I suddenly stopped resisting against Sam and just let go. He rolled off of me as I curled up into a ball and sobbed no tears.

"They killed him, Carlisle, they killed him. I watched him die and go up in flames, turning to ashes and dust right in front of me," I choked out. "I was so scared and helpless. They held me back as he was slaughtered and I _couldn't do anything._ I don't know what to do anymore." It was Esme who came to my side and held me in her arms. She shushed me and started rocking me in her arms as my mournful cry filled the area.


End file.
